Coupons....

Times are tough... We are all feeling the pain... That written we are all consumers, we love to buy stuff - some tangible, some not so tangible (beers, movies, pizza - well I guess pizza is tangible because when you eat it you get fat and that stays with you and if you have a coupon for pizza or if you go the frozen route you are getting a deal on getting fat).

Anyways, down here in So Cal we have the OC Weekly - a paper that does movie reviews, covers bands, has op ed pieces that are controversial, etc. If I see the paper I will usually pick it up (hey its free and the writing is surprisingly good). I was at Subway, just eating fresh, and the latest issue caught my eye... As I waited for the sandwich artist to make my 6 inch (swimsuit season is right around the corner) I flipped through the OC Weekly. I noticed a ton of coupons, if you can call them that. Any time you have to tear or clip a piece of paper out your paper and bring it in to get a deal - I call that a coupon.

Soooooo.... The coupons that caught my eye - breast augmentation surgery (buy one get one free) and laser eye surgery specials. People, really??? Honestly if someone is flapping and zapping my eye ball I want to pay top dollar - it's not a Subway sandwich (no offense) it's your eyes. Sometimes contacts and/or glasses are ok.... Way better then going to the strip mall and getting the flap and zap special.... And per breast augmentation - ladies... It's not that important, bottom line. Deformed, on discount breast augmentation, is way worse than smaller breasts... Trust me.

So get your coupons for pizza, some food (never use a coupon on a date), drinks, etc. But when it comes to any part of you going under the knife don't cut corners, don't use coupons, don't run to the borders north or south for a better deal.....

Happy Friday!

What I had to say... What I will say

Last night I shared a beer and a laugh or two with my old roommate and dear friend Ken. We ended up talking about the election and some of the strong and aggressive stances that our "christian" friends had taken on the newly elected president, Obama.

When I woke up I was going to rant and rave and throw people under the bus. But then I realized that I would be no better then them. It is not my place to vilify them and their beliefs. It is my place to do in action what I say in words - support our newly elected president, even if I do not agree with him; do not dig at them for their beliefs but give them the freedom to say or write what they want; most importantly wake up everyday and give everyone the chance to succeed and not assume failure...

Short and sweet kids - I have been busy today and tomorrow is a new day. A day full of hope and joy...

And tonight I burn my Tony Robbins tapes....

A day of change is coming...

And we have a new president elect, Obama.... Wow. American's once again pave the way, electing, not only, the new American president but what many have called the next world leader.

McCain put forth a great fight and his closing speech was one of the best speeches he has ever given. He, and his speech writers, are all class. I hope he will work with Obama - afterall they need each other.

I don't think anyone is jealous of the mess Obama is being left to clean up.... We are in a financial crisis as well as a global image crisis. It is our duty as American's to work with our new president elect - challenge him, support him and create an environment where we can work together, push forward and put our little differences aside for the greater good.

No matter who you voted for, put it behind you and move forward. It is time for change America - we need to buckle down, work hard and innovate.

My favorite part of Obama's speech was how he closed it out - YES WE CAN!

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing - Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons - because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America - the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can. At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.
When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves - if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.

A new day, a new direction, a new vision....

Election Humor... ha, ha, ha, ha...

Today is the day to vote unless you filled out an absentee ballot (good for you Alicia, such a planner)... If you are in So Cal you will not only fight the lines but also the rain and cold (it may drop below 70 degrees today, brrrrr). Remember, legally your employer must give you 2 hours off to go vote (good luck making that happen). If you have not voted, read these wonderful insights from late night TV's top comics; the jokes below will really clear things up for you....

"Today Barack Obama campaigned in Florida and Virginia. And McCain campaigned in two states: panic and desperation." — David Letterman, CBS' Late Show.

"Actually, there is a good chance that we could go to bed tomorrow night and not know who's running the country. Just like it's been for the last eight years." — Jay Leno, NBC's Tonight Show.

"Right now it's a toss up between Barack and Obama." — Jimmy Kimmel on ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live!

"This is my first election, not sure what supposed do on Election Eve. Are there traditions? So you hang your 'chads' over the fireplace? Leave stuff out for your favorite candidate? Maybe a sandwich for Obama. That is a thin man .... McCain, leave him some food, nice warm mug of creamed corn ... Tasty. And you don't need to chew." — Craig Ferguson, CBS' Late Late Show.

"Who are the real winners in this election? Don't ask me. Ask Joe the Plumber's agent." — Stephen Colbert, Comedy Central's The Colbert Report.

"Congratulations to everybody who ran the New York City Marathon yesterday. Good to have you here. And a special congratulations to this year's winner, Joe the Runner." — Letterman.
"The Republican Party has asked President Bush to stay out of sight until after the election. Apparently Bush has agreed to this strategy and is appearing weekly on the NBC series, Kath and Kim. " — Conan O'Brien on NBC's Late Night.

"I don't want to say that the Obamas are overly confident, but they've already agreed to let Oprah use their house in Chicago as a place to keep her dogs." — Kimmel.

"According to recent news reports, Bill Clinton has now become an adviser to Barack Obama. Bill Clinton is giving advice to Barack Obama. Do you know who is really upset about this? Michelle Obama." — Leno.

"My guest, Andrew Sullivan, says conservatives should support Obama. Well, McCain's campaign managers certainly have done their part." — Colbert.

"Did you get any of those annoying robo calls? You know, those phone call recorded messages from the candidates. I got them all weekend. I even got one from Ralph Nader's campaign. Turns out it wasn't recorded. It was Ralph calling personally from a pay phone." — Leno.

"Sarah Palin is going to celebrate the end of the campaign. She charged one last $1,500 blouse to the campaign. So, got that out of the way." — Letterman.

"This weekend at a John McCain rally, Arnold Schwarzenegger said that Barack Obama needs to exercise more because his legs are too skinny. Then he said: 'Now behold, the awesome physical specimen that is John McCain!'" — O'Brien.

Just stop it!

Somethings just don't mix and should not be forced together.... Don't be like a 2 year old trying to force the square into the spot reserved for the circle. This is not how life works. Yet some people try to force items together - these same people believe the earth is flat, the sun revolves around the earth, oil and water do mix and COED baby showers are cool....

I think I can speak for science when I write, NO - NO to COED baby showers. The games, the clothes, the breast talk (not the kind us guys like) and the birthing talk make for 3 to 5 hours of pain and discomfort for any man.

This past Sunday I helped my friend Amy out and attended a COED baby shower at her home (it was for her sister). 35 women (20 with kids or about to have a kid) and 5 guys. OH and 1 thirty pack of beer (that was dusted in the first 45 minutes of the event). The food was great (thanks Amy) but the whole thing was (as it should be) geared towards women. Soooo why am I there, why are the other guys there, what the hell???? I was a fool and talked into being there with the promise of cute single girls being there... I was thinking brides maids - I got pregnant hungry single women hunting for a man, pulse and job and you qualify (we are in a recession).....

Two things can be learned by my Sunday spent playing Baby Shower bingo just hoping that the mom to be opens up a spit up rag before a pair booties so I can yell - "BABY SHOWER BINGO!!!" BTW - I lost. I think that mom to be cheated. I am sure she will make a great parent....

1. A Sunday with angry mom's, uncomfortable pregnant women and women dreaming of popping out a kid in the next 9 months is no place for a man.

2. Stop messing with the world ladies - we don't want to be at the baby shower and if you are honest with yourself you don't want us there.... So stop, stop the madness... Let us be football cheering, beer drinking, burger/pizza eating savages on Sunday's - please....

For those men that have a save the date for a COED baby shower - burn it, run from it, hide - trust me.....