This Trailer Park is for you...

Last week a dear friend of mine called me up with some insider information - I shared this information with my dear friend Jane Wells at CNBC. Yesterday Jane made the journey from Universal Studios to Lake Forest (LA to the OC) to conduct an exclusive on camera interview.

This are the days that I love my job -

Etnies (Sole Technology is their parent company) had a great idea - they understand the meaning of the holiday season....

This is the story... (Thanks Jane, Brenda, Don and randomly enough - Adidas)

URL: http://www.cnbc.com/id/28051860 (you can see the ad that Etnies ran here)

Content:

SHOEMAKER ETNIES BRINGS FREE BEER TO PARTY-LESS RIVAL ADIDAS
A Funny Business "exclusive":

Firms are cancelling holiday parties in this belt-tightening environment. But the Grinches aren't just Wall Street banks. Even Adidas is nixing the eggnog this year. The Portland Oregonian reports Adidas' holiday parties cost the athletic apparel/shoe giant $6.3 million. Those must be some parties. Alas, all the year-end festivities for Adidas employees have been cancelled.

It's not the best of times in retail, especially when you could pay your heating bill for what it costs to buy a pair of Nike shoes.

But one privately-held shoe company is going back to its rebellious skater roots and saying "Bah Humbug!" to the party poopers. Etnies, based in Southern California, is today posting the ad seen here to promote a party it's throwing near Adidas' US headquarters in Portland, Oregon JUST for Adidas employees.

That's pretty funny. And nervy. Very skate-ery.

The party is Monday night at "My Father's Place Bar" on Southeast Grand, starting at 7pm and going "until the bar shuts down." Free beer will be flowing, courtesy of PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon to those of you who drink Chardonnay). Why throw a party for workers at a much larger rival in another state? "Just to have some fun," says Etnies VP Don Brown, a former skateboarding champion, who says the party will cost "probably all of $1,000 dollars."

Gee. Thumb your nose (playfully) at a much larger rival, exploit its belt-tightening, get a lot of press, and only spend $1,000. Not bad.

Etnies had $200 million in sales last year, but this year sales are down double digits. Still, the company says it's doing better than publicly traded skater shoe rivals like Vans, Volcom
and Quiksilver.

But going after Adidas? Aim high! (By the way, under Oregon law PBR can't give away beer...Etnies is buying it at a discount and then "hosting" the party.)

Will anyone show?

I'll have videotape on this story later, both from Etnies headquarters in the OC, and maybe even Adidas HQ in Portland (I hear the Adidas PR team think the ad is the funniest thing its ever seen — wonder if they'll come for the free beer.)

In the upcoming taped piece, you'll learn what to expect from the parties (plural) Etnies is throwing for its own employees this year. (Hint — I learned what "trailer trash tea" is: PBR, ice, and lemon. Nice!)

Stay tuned...

Jane has informed me that the taped interview will go live tomorrow (the Big 3 begging for money is monopolizing TV time on CNBC).

Cause you need a buddy... Everyone does

My buddy, my buddy and me... My buddy and me like to climb up a tree, my buddy and me - he's the best a friend can be... My little buddy, the best toy and sing along commercial ever.... After all you were not just getting a toy, you were buying a buddy....

As you get older your buddies change. You trade in imaginary buddies for real buddies - sometimes that is a good trade and sometimes it is a bad trade but a trade that needs to made or you end up in room with padded walls, that's a different blog... Anyways... So buddies - they come and go and like all things some buddies are better than other.

So today I am reading Jane Wells Blog (http://www.cnbc.com/id/17646093/) - she is good and funny and very informative... So Jane's most recent blog hit on a new buddy, the Nutty Buddy. The Nutty Buddy is a buddy to a man's two very sensitive buddies... The Nutty Buddy was created and is tested by a baseball player (maybe he took one too many pitches to the head, just maybe)

Here is the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6C9aiWr0Vfg (this when advertising meets America's funniest home videos)

Random Side note: I am shopping for a new car (such a pain and car salesmen just never come across very honest - sorry but they don't. I have cars stuck on a boat - come on guy!)

Anyway, the cars I am looking at all get great gas mileage and have a small eco footprint. Good thing because Global Warming has taken her first victim - the possum (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,461007,00.html). Oddly enough, I am completely okay with this. I HATE and I am a bit scared of the possum. They are creepy. Sure the white possum picture looks cute (why show an ugly animal that is a victim of Global Warming - that just won't work. I also wonder how long that possum was in the makeup chair to look that good?) but they are not tough enough to live in this dog eat dog world. To quote our science buddies - "Experts fear climate change is to blame for the disappearance of the highly vulnerable strain thanks to a temperature rise of up to 1.5 degrees Fahrenheit."

1.5 degrees and gone! Poof! The white possum is the David Blane of magic - it all looks good until you get to the meat of it.... 1.5 degrees, come on white possum. If the white possum is going the way of the dodo bird after a temperature shift of 1.5 degrees - then all I have to say is that it is not Global Warming (yes I do believe in Global Warming), it is the Good Lord above calling the white possum home (in heaven the white possum looks like a snowflake).

Goodbye white possum - hate to see you go, love to see you leave....

Bake Sales, Car Washes, Advertising...

Every year teachers fight cut backs from the Federal Gov. and every year it seems like they lose. Less books, less money and of course - more students. We have all heard the cry - maybe the armed forces should be forced to hold a bake sale to get the money they need. Not a bad idea, but this fat kid will not be spending 10 million on a cupcake. Bottom line, there is just no cupcake in the world worth that much... Hence, school do bake sales. 50 cent cupcakes are so worth it and I will buy them by the dozen, even if they are bad...

A teacher in San Diego has another answer to raise money during, yet another, budget crunch. As reported first by USA Today, Tom Farber of Rancho Bernardo, San Diego, started selling ads on his test papers: $10 for a quiz, $20 for a chapter test, $30 for a semester final. So far, he has collected $350. His semester final is sold out.

I like Tom's style. Go get'em Tom! Don't let the man get you down... But there is a man trying to get Tom down - while Tom is working hard to give his students what they need with a plan is both attractive to the schools bottom line and the companies that choose to advertise there is one man that is trying to stop Tom from selling ads on his test - of course Captain Dooms Day will not be supplementing the schools bottom line with cash lost if he stops the ads on test....

Robert Weissman (i.e. Captain Dooms Day), managing director of Commercial Alert, a Washington-based non-profit that fights commercialization in school and elsewhere. If test-papers-as-billboards catches on, he says, schools in the grip of tough economic times could start relying on them to help the bottom line.

And the problem with that is.....???? Hey Robert, yeah you Captain Dooms Day - why don't you spend your time trying to get schools more money instead of stifling the entrepreneurial spirit of Tom and his school - this SD school is living and embracing the American dream... They are not complaining about a lack of funds - they are working hard to make sure that the students get a great education and hustling to do it. Our countries priorities are out of whack and until they get in line great people like Tom have work a bit hard and think outside of the box...

About two-thirds of Tom's ads are inspirational messages underwritten by parents. Others are ads for local businesses, such as two from a structural engineering firm and one from a dentist who urges students, "Brace Yourself for a Great Semester!"

We should only get concerned when/if Tom's test start advertising new car sales, credit card ads, adult themed entrainment, beer ads, etc... I admit we need to have some clear cut lines on what can and cannot be ads on a test for kids. As an example, Bud - you cannot advertise here - sorry. Joe Camel, you can - kids already smoke and you are such a cool camel... Maybe the best camel in the world. Red Bull - NO! These kids are hyper enough, they don't need you.. Starbucks - YES... Half these kids work there and get health care from your company so spend away. Lotions and Lace - NO! These kids don't need any new ideas and they are not old enough to buy from your establishment. Nordstrom Rack - YES. Lets teach these kids to buy items on sale. Trojan - well I guess, no more knocked up kids. Fire Hot Cheetos - a must!

Back to a serious note, lets look at the national numbers -

The National Education Association says teachers spend about $430 out of their pockets each year for school supplies. This semester, Christine Van Ruiten, a teacher at E.C. Reems, a charter school in East Oakland, has spent $2,000. She scours Craigslist for free supplies and posts requests to DonorsChoose.org, which matches teachers with donors.

Founded in 2000 by Charles Best, then a Bronx teacher, DonorsChoose has funded about 65,000 projects totaling $26 million. Best calls it "a more dignified, substantive alternative for teachers than selling candy door-to-door — and certainly than selling ad space on final exams. That's crazy."

More dignified - come on Charles... Get off your DonorsChoose.org high horse... You are just upset that you did not think about this... More dignified would be teachers getting paid a fare wage and students getting what they need to learn... Until then Tom and others like him need to keep on fighting the good fight. Without teachers like Tom where would be?

Busted (pun intended)...

The first rule in world ruled by technology - crime does not pay. That is a fact Jack! I watch all the CSI shows - NY, LV (the OG and the best), Miami (is this really a show about crime scene investigation or a show about how to dramatically take your glasses off and on??) and the new CSI - CSI Montana. Riveting investigations uncovering murder, theft, drugs, sheep.....

And of course there are a plethora of new shows that mix crime, investigation, cops, etc... Law and Order, The 11th Hour, The Mentalist, Criminal Minds... And lets not forget the Sleuth Channel on Cable and Dish. All the old crime dramas in one place - Simon and Simon, RipTide, Miami Vice, Magnum PI, The Profiler, etc....

The problem is that every great crime drama gives criminals an insight into how they can get caught and the wheel goes round and round... The criminal figures out a new way to break the law, CSI figures out a new way to use dirt to catch a criminal and so on and so forth...

Random side note: I used to live in Portland, Ore.... Portland is a great city built on a dark history of selling people... Portland was a hub for ships going to and from China. Underneath Portland is a labyrinth of tunnels were people where drugged, stored and then sold to ship owners. The game was always the same - cute girl meets you in a bar, flirts with you, asks you to leave and bonk you are knocked out and in a cage underneath the city waiting to be sold to a ship owners...

So why the random side note - our friends in Uganda have taken a page out of history and played off the urge of men to motorboat.... If you don't know how to motorboat or what it is, this is light adult content.

Learn about motor boating here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukBbXT8wF3Y

(thanks Vince V - go see his new movie)

Here is the skinny of Uganda's new crime wave covering - motor boating, ladies and man's addiction to all things ladies....

Uganda's police have warned male bar-goers to keep their noses clean after a probe found a gang of robbers had been using women with chloroform smeared on their chests to knock their victims unconscious...

Moral of the story - don't motorboat in a bar in Uganda, cause yes it is too good to be true!

Now, if only CSI Miami can make this into an hour long episode... I will write the episode, call me...