Corruption - The banks have a mentor

Over the past 90 days the American Public have put companies asking for bailout money under the proverbial microscope. With billions being spent in aid people wanted to know - where is all this money going?

Sadly much of the money has been thrown around like Pac Man Jones making it "rain" at a strip club as bank and insurance executives line up for their bonuses while working the TARP pole in their Bailout Bootie Shorts...

Remember that old school pot commercial where the kid is chilling in his room and his dad walks in and confronts him with a box of oregano/sticky green asking his son, "Where did you learn to use this?" And the son responds, "You, dad, you taught me..."

With all the pork barrel spending I can just hear AIG and the Big American 3 auto makers looking back at Barney Frank as he screams, "Why do you think you don't have to answer to us? What gives you the right to waste American tax dollars? Where did you get this sense of entitlement?" And Ford responds, "You, Barney - yourself and congress with your pork barrel spending - You taught us how to waste, how to spend, how to ear mark... It was you!"

On Tuesday the Senate ignored McCain and chose to keeps thousands in earmarks in a $410 billion spending bill... Awesome!

So what earmarks where kept? Appletinis and hookers? No, but close...

$1.7 million for pig odor research in Iowa

RWC: Pigs stink... pay me 1 million and we can call it even. For an extra 700k I will share why they stink (they root, role, live and play in their own poop!)...

$2 million 'for the promotion of astronomy' in Hawaii

RWC: Tonight look up... See those cool lights? Do you like them? Yes? Great... Promotion complete - pay me 2 million...

$6.6 million for termite research in New Orleans

RWC: Yes termites will eat exposed and untreated wood. Take the 6.6 million and hire some exterminators but unlike the 900 USD hammer or the 500 USD toilet seat pay a guy or gal 15 an hour to call a local company in the Yellow pages... Hire them... Pay them.... Get a handle on this.. That one is free... I like the people of New Orleans... Random side note - the Governor of the great state of Louisiana bumped his gums after Obama's speech about how there would be no waste in his state and Government or bailout money would not be accepted - Hey GUY really? You are a liar, liar, pants on fire... Shut it fella, I am sure you have some stupid excuse.... One I am not buying, especially at the rates you are charging - oh wait, I am buying with my tax dollars...

$2.1 million for the Center for Grape Genetics in New York

RWC: If this is for research to create better tasting wine that costs less then spend away... If this is about creating a blue or teal grape then SUCK IT! Grape Genetics... How about we spend money on how to clone bees - if we don't have them, we don't have crops - including grapes...

Ladies, stop sharing...

Love found on TV over 6 short weeks - the foundation for great television not the foundation of a love story unless your love story is the Titanic, Romeo and Juliet or more recently Flavor of Love 1, 2 or 3 (are we up to 4 yet?).

I am just going to jump right into this... The premise is absurd. Ladies, take a step back and walk back with me to a place called reality. Be honest ladies, if you where dating a man that was also dating 3 to 8 other women - taking them to dinner, making out with them, sleeping with them, introducing them to his parents, etc... Nope.com! So why is it romantic and special when it happens on TV?

Outside of the whoring around like a modern day Hester Prynne there is another fundamental problem - the relationship is a one way street. During an reality show focusing on romance there is always a prize (the bachelor or bachelorette - would Brett Michaels or Flavor Flav be a prize, probably not...) and several people vying for that prize. As an example, on The Bachelor, Jason had women fawning over him... They all had to "open up" and share their feelings with him. The final two said that they loved him - they both took a leap of faith.... Jason, he just sat there and took it all in like a reverse ATM. The amazing thing is that the way the show is edited it is not the women that are giving up so much but Jason that is giving up so much...

Of course last night is was shown that Jason rejected one, took another - then broke up with the woman he chose and won back the woman he rejected... All this showed was that Jason, the Bachelor, could sit there and whimsically decide who he wanted and both women just took it! Ladies, what happened?

As long as shows like this are on the air relationships on both sides will suffer, the proper role of women in society will suffer and feminism will stay an oxymoron. Until, keep crying on TV, keep wondering what is wrong with you, keep thinking no one will ever love you, keep snorting vicodine, stop eating, get bitter and let's not forget - blame all of your relationship problems and hard heart on the cold hard reality that you where once hurt... Because no one, except you, has been in love and then hurt...

The month of reality

We all started 2009 with two things - hope and some resolutions. Everyone makes resolutions and then of course the following weeks are filled with articles and gum bumping about your New Years resolutions with questions like: Was your resolution realistic (I still claim being a Lotto winner is a realistic resolution)? Have you put in motion actions that will ensure your resolution will be successful? How will your resolution affect your day to day life?

All of this with a dash of hope and excitement fill up your January. February skips on by and then March comes... March is the cold reminder of the New Year... A slap to the face... March reminds you that you are failure. Don't believe me? Let's look at what you did this weekend and then compare it to your 09 resolution...

Resolutions: Lose weight. Eat better. Stop smoking. Don't drink as much. Get in shape (getting even more round does not count as getting in shape).

Your weekend: Friday night did not start on your couch watching re-runs of Friday Night Lights or my favorite show, Numbers. Nope.com! You started off by leaving the office, running across the street (no this does not count as your workout) to hit Apple Bees for the happy hour including a quick tequila shot and a super sized beer for 8 bucks! The hops and barley help wash down the boneless, fried chicken wings and nachos... Your layer is set is.. Before you jump in the car, spark up a heater and puff away... Party all night long, stumble into an "oh thanks heaven, 7-11" to get a variety of hot dogs, late night nachos and frozen pizzas! Wake up in a pool of your own vomit, find your pack of cigs, spark up, get a cup of joe and call your people... After some calls, Saturday - the actual day is spent in bed, blinds drawn as you drift in and out of sleep... Then your phone rings... It's 7 - time to shower, get some dinner and beers and then party like it is the weekend.... Burgers at TGIF, big beers and a some queso dip (you lick the bowl clean)... Now off to the bar for bar snacks, shots, beers and flirting (this does not count as your workout either). You stay up until 4am drinking and smoking on your porch. Sunday comes early but there is not time to sleep in, after all it is Sunday Funday! College hoops, golf, beers and bar food until 4 or 5pm... Go home, go to sleep, wake up and BAM - it's March...

March: The month of reality... The month of honesty... The month that reminds you, you are a failure...

So how should you embrace March? Understand the simple rules in life: You will not get a better job. You wasted your money joining the gym. You will continue to drink to much. You will continue to eat to much. You are smoking as you read my blog on your iPhone. You are a failure...

So..... Start your failed life and March 09 on the 19th by cheering on and embracing the success of people younger than you by getting drunk at a bar and placing illegal bets with a local bookie on what teams will win and loose...

Happy Monday and enjoy the month of your reality - enjoy the month of March!