Boo! The 13th is here again...

2009 is one of the most unlucky years on record ringing up a total of 3 Friday the 13ths - The first came last month. The next is in November. Such a rare triple-threat occurs only once every 11 years (triple-threat, March Madness coming next week, Diaper Dandee - I am heading Vegas and betting on the under dog). Perhaps the unlucky number of Friday the 13ths in 09 is a reflection of the economic year we will be having? My friends at Nat Geo seem to think so, even if the impact is only for one day... "It's been estimated that [U.S] $800 or $900 million is lost in business on this day because people will not fly or do business they would normally do," said Donald Dossey, founder of the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, North Carolina. Those are Obama plan numbers people!

I don't buy into lucky and unlucky numbers. But for those of you that do, I think it is time to look at Friday the 13th and the number 13.... After all it is Friday the 13th...

Side note: I am writing this blog under a ladder, sitting on a mirror I just broke while playing with a black cat...

If you find yourself locked in a room gripped with fear, concerned about what you can and can't do today then you may just be a complete whack job - the pros call the Fear of Friday the 13th paraskavedekatriaphobia (that name also brings on fear of scan trons) as well as friggatriskaidekaphobia. For those of you that love the phobia world, it is interesting to note that Triskaidekaphobia is fear of the number 13 (oddly enough the word does not have 13 letters - where was the big brain when naming a fear of the number 13 without the word having 13 letters - I need to get into this game, the world would much more interesting. Seriously, you would have a person afraid of the number 13 using a word, describing their phobia, that had 13 letters - BOMB!).

Of course the fear, or more realistically the general public's fear of the number 13 has infected our day to day lives. Many hospitals have no room 13, my office building skips the 13th floor and some airline terminals omit Gate 13. Hey party people - the number may not be there as a representation, i.e. 1, 2, 3.... 12, 14..., but in the physical realm 13 is always there - BOO!

Perhaps the number 13 is a just the innocent byproduct of a jerk we know as number 12. 12 does hog the spot light with - 12 months in a year, 12 signs of the zodiac, 12 gods of Olympus, 12 labors of Hercules, 12 tribes of Israel, 12 apostles of Jesus, 12 days of Christmas, 12 eggs in a dozen and 12 Norse gods - used to be 13 oddly then according to a Norse myth about 12 gods having a dinner party at Valhalla, their heaven. In walked the uninvited 13th guest, the mischievous Loki. Once there, Loki arranged for Hoder, the blind god of darkness, to shoot Balder the Beautiful, the god of joy and gladness, with a mistletoe-tipped arrow. My question - who gave the blind guy a bow and arrow? Mistletoe-tipped or not, that is dangerous and stupid.

There you go kids - enjoy the blog today and go get lucky....

Gee Whiz, what a great idea!

IN the beginning Coke had one goal - the famed southern soda only wanted the world to sing in perfect harmony....

In the 90's Pepsi had a taste that beat the others cold....

Of course Mountain Dew has asked us all to "Do the Dew.." Barks Root Beer has always had "bite." 7-UP is all natural these days.... Blah, blah, blah... We need to shake up this boring soda market place... But who will do that, especially during these tough economic times?

INDIA. Why you ask? No matter how natural, how cold, how Dewey or Bitey - no sing a long will do for the people of India, they need a new soda.... India's Hindu nationalist movement has the answer: a new soft drink made from cow urine.

The bovine brew is in the final stages of development by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India's biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, according to the man who makes it.

Before we go on let's get some more insight on what exactly the RSS is from our friends at the always complete Wikipedia -

RSS: The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh also known as the Sangh or the RSS, is a Hindu nationalist organization in India. It was founded in 1925 by Dr. K.B. Hedgewar. The RSS is active throughout India. The general philosophical outlook of RSS is cultural nationalism known as integral humanism, aimed at revitalizing the spiritual and moral traditions of India. RSS believes that Hinduism is not simply a religion but a way of life.

The RSS was banned in India thrice during periods in which the government of the time considered them a threat to the state: in 1948 after Mahatma Gandhi's assassination, during the Emergency (1975-77) , and after the 1992 Babri Masjid demolition. The bans were subsequently lifted, in 1949 after the RSS agreed to a Constitution whereby it swore to uphold secularism and minority rights and abjure violence, in 1977 as a result of the defeat of the Congress in the elections, and in 1993 by the tribunal constituted under the Unlawful Activities (Prevention) Act.

Now that we have cleared that up - back the urine infused soda...

The drink is the latest attempt by the RSS - claiming eight million members – to cleanse India of foreign influence and promote its ideology of Hindutva, or Hindu-ness.

RWC: If you are looking to cleanse then wouldn't you have a liver infused drink, instead of a urine infused drink? Just a thought... Back to the BPS (Bovine Pea Soda - TM)

It is worth noting that Hindus revere cows and slaughtering them is illegal in most of India - hence Burger King is not popular there but the California Cheese Commercials showing happy cows are a hit Youtube sensation in India.

Cow pies (not really pies) are traditionally used as a fuel and disinfectant in villages. Cow urine and dung are often consumed in rituals to "purify" those on the bottom rungs of the Hindu caste system. Fair - nope.com. True - Yep.com. Sad - Fosho.com.

Back to the business at hand - soda vs urine in India. Could the urine from the stinky moo moo may be safer than a Coke or Pepsi (noted for being able to dissolve nails) - both very popular drinks in India. India is one of their biggest markets outside of the US. Oddly enough the brands have struggled in recent years shaking off allegations, which they deny, that they contain dangerous levels of pesticides and other chemicals.

The RSS has commented that, by contrast, their new soda will be made mainly of cow urine, mixed with a few medicinal and ayurvedic herbs. They said it would be "cheap", but declined to give further details about its price or the other ingredients until it was officially launched. The group also promised that the soda would NOT taste like urine and would be served cold, not warm.

Happy Thursday party people -

On this day....

Life and conversation are powered by random knowledge... It is time to charge up your random knowledge batteries with information that is only valid today so use it and abuse it...

For this first bit of knowledge you need to find someone that looks sad... It shouldn't be hard. Then let them know that it is singer Bobby McFerrin's very, wait for it.... "Don't worry, be happy" birthday... Then walk with them as you whistle this early 90's hit! Smile, you have dropped some knowledge and made someone smile... Good for you and your random knowledge.

Moving on from a very happy birthday, it is time to look back in history starting with romance....

February 14th has come and gone but on this day, romance is in the air and what is more romantic than a love story that ends in a double suicide - the answer is Nothing.com. Let all the romantics know that on this day in 1302 - The characters Romeo and Juliet were married according to William Shakespeare. If anyone would know, Bill is the other one...

Keeping with the love theme - even little people with BIG attitudes can find love. On this day in 1810 - The Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte was married by proxy to Archduchess Marie Louise of Austria. By proxy is fancy talk for a mean midget forcing a pretty and much taller lady to marry him....

From love in the air to pictures in the box, it's TV history... No TV history is complete without a mention of the Beatles. ON this day in 1967 - A video of the Beatles performing "Penny Lane" and "Strawberry Fields Forever" was played on "American Bandstand."

From music and dancing to sports, former child prodigy turned party girl holds today special. On this day in 1990 - Jennifer Capriati, 13 years old, played her first professional tennis match. Give someone a phantom forehand then offer them blow... It's only appropriate.

There you have it, random knowledge that only applies to today... Enjoy and pepper it in where it is most inappropriate...

Big O'l Jet Had A Light On....

Diane Arbus once wrote, "My favorite thing is to go where I've never been. " But before you go where you have never been I would suggest you find out what is culturally offensive so you don't offend - and that is why I am here party people. As the interstate love song of my generation I will guide you through some classic cultural mistakes taking you from the "Bad American" to the American even Americans can tolerate.

Put Shatner on hold, the priceline will wait... It's time to learn what you can and can't do in far off lands...

Coming in at number 1: Touching Someone (this goes far past the awkward slap on the butt you give to your buddy after a good play on field weirdo..)

Where It’s Offensive: Korea, Thailand, China, Europe, the Middle East.

I know, Europe is a big place... That written, when you fly Virgin to any place in Europe keep your hands in your pockets... The people of the European nations are not made of felt...

What’s Offensive: Personal space varies as you travel the globe - I always say, use the ATM rule, i.e. keep an ATM distance away from people. For all of you future coaches, current coaches and former coaches - PAY ATTENTION - In Thailand, the head is considered sacred — never even pat a child on the head. I would go even farther, NEVER call a kid sport either...

It's really hot in here so take off all your clothes by following rule number 2: Taking Your Clothes Off

Where It’s Offensive (not too): Scandinavian countries, Turkey Even though none of these people have tans they do like the birthday suite especially when steam is involved.

What’s Offensive: Wearing bathing suits, shorts and T-shirts, underwear, or any other piece of clothing into a sauna, hammam, or other place of physical purification is a no - no. My question is, what kind of guy or gal puts on a t-shirt and jeans prior to getting into the sauna? In some cultures, a steam room or a sauna is considered a place of purity and reflection except for the saunas at any 24hr Fitness.

Seeing how you are naked in the sauna remember rule number 3: Looking Them in the Eye … or Not

Where It’s Offensive: Korea, Japan, Germany (Have you noticed that of all the countries Korea is easily offended??? Yeah, me too)

What’s Offensive: For Americans, not making direct eye contact can be considered rude, indifferent or weak and we as a people owe that to movie icons like John Wayne, Sly Stallone and Sharon Stone (what, she was in a Western - back off!)... In some Asian nations, prolonged eye contact will make a local uncomfortable, I would add that prolonged eye contact in ANY country is considered weird and creepy - try not to map my retina when talking with me... When the beer comes, and it does in Germany, remember that when toasting with friends, your eyes had better meet theirs — if they don’t, a German superstition says you’re both in for seven years of bad luck in the bedroom.

Now that you are throwing up cheers and looking people in the eye it is time to make sure you follow rule number 4: Drinking Alcohol the Wrong Way

Where It’s Offensive: Latin America, France, Korea, Russia (seriously, Korea again... Maybe next week I should blog on what you can do in Korea because right now it ain't much)

What’s Offensive: Every culture has different traditions when it comes to throwing back the cocktails and some rules apply across all time zones - no barfing (we are not rocking it early Roman style) and no passing out naked in the middle of the living room. Now comes the hard to follow rules so take some notes: In Russia slam that Vodka, don't sip it! If you sip Vodka you may get shot. In Korea (you knew it was coming), women can only pour drinks for men — not other women — and if you want a refill, you need to drain your glass. And if you’re in Latin America, never pour with your left hand — that’s bad luck and like in Russia they can legally shoot you for pouring a drink with your left hand, or so I have read on Wikipedia.

Your drunk, naked, not touching anyone and looking them in the eye but not too long and all you can think about is your shoes... Coming in at number 5: Removing Your Shoes…or Not

Where It’s Offensive: Hawaii, the South Pacific, Korea, China, Thailand (I am not just throwing Korea under the bus here, they are an easily offended people - probably offended by blogs and what I am writing at this moment)

What’s Offensive: Take off your shoes when arriving at the door of a London dinner party and the hostess will find you uncivilized, but fail to remove your shoes before entering a home in Asia, Hawaii, or the Pacific Islands and you’ll be considered disrespectful. Confused - don't be. If they have bad teeth and eat bland food, keep your shoes on - if they wear short shorts, drive a Ferrari and rock the flippy flops then let the feet run naked inside... In Korea when you remove your shoes, don't just kick them off. Make sure your shoes are up right, facing the same way and lined up with the others... If you don't you will offend your host and bring bad luck to the home you are visiting...

So what have we learned here? You can be naked in Europe as long as you don't touch anyone and you keep your shoes on. Finish your drinks, take your shoes off, don't look people in the eye and don't touch anyone in Korea if you don't know them... Finally, you can be shot or jailed in any of these countries for being , well being you - so the bottom line is be nice, be courteous and most importantly if you want to act like a tool bring a Canadian ID...

You know you can trust "scientific research" when the Big Lebowski term, "dude" is used to described the study. Once again, Yahoo and my eating disorder pushing friends at Cosmo have come together to help all women with mental issues by letting them know the 5 key traits a guy must have before they get serious... To quote the Cosmo blogger: "Definitive research sheds light on the qualities that really matter in a dude when you're thinking long-term love."

Research and dude are never allowed to be used in the same sentence... Well there is the Ell Woods exception, that written I think we can move past being Legally Blond and to the reality that there is a better chance of seeing a totally messed up remake of the John Cusak hit, Say Anything, before researchers start using the term "dude." Unless pot becomes legal then expect the word dude to be prevalent in all research articles... Or Bud brings back those crap dude commercials...

So I thought we could start Monday morning by shooting down the finger in your throat rationality that is Cosmo rhetoric and research...

Dating Trait #1: He Knows What He Wants

Any guy you're serious about should be able to articulate his long-term goals and passions (sorry, fantasy football and Xbox don't count). He can't ally himself with you until he has a sense of how he envisions his life in the future... and how you fit in. "If a man has no idea what he wants to be when he 'grows up,' then it will be impossible for him to commit to you," says Dobransky. Don't assume he'll work things out, because when he does, you may realize his ambitions don't mesh with yours. "This mistake has contributed to the starter-marriage phenomenon, in which couples in their 20s and 30s suddenly realize they're going in different directions and divorce at an early age," says Dobransky. "It's preventable as long as you're both clear about your plans."

RWC: Oh Dobransky - your wisdom, spawned from the bastard child of John Hughes. I love the fantasy football and Xbox jab... Nice work and original. Now to your "advice" Dobransky... The great Baz Luhrmann once said, "Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't." Suck it Dobransky, that is how real people wear sunscreen and live their lives... Ladies - yes all the single ladies - find someone you love and make sure you support them in what they do, in turn make sure they support you in what you do... Dobransky needs to understand that people change... Change is okay.... Now go put some sunscreen on...

Dating Trait #2: He Has a Sunny Outlook

A recent study led by the University of Oregon found that women who had upbeat partners felt more satisfied in their relationships and -- this is huge -- that the man's level of optimism determined the relationship's staying power. Not only is it nice to have someone help you see the silver lining of a situation that totally sucks, but cheerful guys are good at keeping things in perspective, so they don't let little conflicts get to them and can go with the flow.

RWC: I wish this would have started with, "you can turn that frown upside down!" or "you'll poke through those clouds sunshine!" Come on... You mean to tell me that people enjoy being around other happy or joyful people that find a silver lining??? Fascinating.... Duck, water, back - keep on rolling... Happy, silver lining, little things - go with the flow... Can we just quote Coolio and roll with our homies... Sure you want a happy guy but you also want a guy that is realistic and understands that sometimes you just don't point out the silver lining. When your favorite grandma dies you want him there but do you want to hear the silver lining? "Honey, I know you are sad but let's look at the bright side. She dies in her sleep so that means open casket and her make up looks great! Go check her out."

Dating Trait #3: He's Open to Changing for You

It's true you may not be able to change a man, but a guy should want to change for you. If a facet of his behavior irks you (for example, maybe he's not attentive enough in certain circumstances), he should be game to hear you out, listen to how you'd like him to do things differently, and then act on those suggestions. "When a guy is truly in love, he is more self-reflective and will work on the aspects of himself that bother you," says Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of "Love in 90 Days." "Studies have found that successful married couples change each other quite a bit over time." More important, a man needs to have the capacity to transform and grow with you -- e.g., he takes an interest in going to art galleries with you, even if he's more of a couch-and-ESPN kind of guy. "If he's not willing to expand his interests to mesh with yours, you're going to outpace him," explains Kirschner. "It's likely you'll grow restless, and the relationship will become stale."

RWC: Dear Kirchner and the rest of you PHD love me and change for me tools, not all of us guys are on the couch ESPN junkies so lose the fall back - Archie Bunker meets the latest guy on a Coors Light commercial stereo type... In a relationship you grow together - the key word is grow! Each of you have to grow, change and challenge one another... As the great Kahlil Gibran wrote, "Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone..." It is NOT a one way street. Ladies, you will have to be willing to be a part of the moving sea... That is the change, that is knowing what you want today but knowing that tomorrow may bring something different...

Dating Trait #4: He's Still a Little Mysterious

The beginning of a relationship is always exciting because you're just getting to know each other. But even after the newness wears off, it's essential that a man keeps you guessing. "If you can never quite pin down what makes him tick, that's actually a healthy thing," says Kirschner. Although at first you might feel more bonded to a guy who shares tons of personal info with you, over time, you risk losing the intrigue that pulled you to him initially. You might start to see him as more of a friend than a romantic partner.

RWC: Yeah mystery totally makes sense. I want to fall in love with someone that I never really know. Great call Trapper John, errrr Kirschner. Ladies, you can't date 007... And honestly, I don't think you want to. So the guy needs to have locked in goals, be able to polish a turd and not share with you to keep the mystery so you never know who he really is... This makes about as much sense as making the hit movie Ghost, into a musical... No the guy signing is the ghost... I can't wait for the parts where he walks through walls and people walk through him, theatre is known for it's great special effects... Just like the great advice in Cosmo

And finally - Dating Trait #5: He's Responsible with Money

Besides giving you a heads-up about money-related conflicts you might encounter in the future (one of the topics long-term couples argue about most), how a guy handles cash reveals a lot about his character. Positive signs: He keeps the receipt after paying for a meal, or you notice several credit-card offers in his stack of mail (it may indicate he has good credit). "A man who doesn't track his money shows a lack of patience and self-control," says Dobransky. "In fact, guys who are financially reckless share many traits with men who cheat." But you also don't want to be with a tightwad. If a dude doesn't splurge now and then, it may mean he'll be stingy in other ways, such as compromising during a fight.

RWC: Oh Dobransky, your advice amazes me... A positive sign is that he keeps a receipt after paying for a meal? Ladies, do you really want to feel like a business dinner that can be written off when it comes to tax time? Well I guess I should ask - what kind of date are you on??? And yes all you wanna be Nancy Drew's - go through his mail. That is healthy. You should probably also hack his email and clone his cell phone. That way he can stay mysterious and you can act like a crazy woman and dumpster dive every Tuesday right before the trash man comes...

Ladies if you are searching for a guy, first find yourself... Know what you want... Look for what you want, not what you are trying to avoid... Love will find a way.... Oh, and cancel your subscription to Cosmo...

Monday - DONE!