Here's the news, all the news new and improved...

I have not done this in awhile... Time to look at what is being reported by the AP and rewash it...

First - the economy!

The US housing crisis, Madoff, the fall of Wall Street - our actions here have turned from a ripple affect into a tsunami rocking the global shores.... No one, no industry, no person has been spared. Billionaires have lost billions. Drug dealers have lost clients. Slum lords have lost tenants. Trump is bankrupt again (shocker... You're fired).... Even the US adult entertainment industry has asked for stimulus funds (and I am not writing about the perverted old corpse that runs around in his PJ's as he searches to suck the life out of unknowing 20 something’s....). Not to be a Debbie Downer on St Patrick’s Day but another industry has been rocked hard... Sales in the French erotic industry have fallen as the global economic crisis has driven consumers to reduce their spending on sex toys, massage oils and other kinky products, sector specialists say.

Trade shows are the barometer of how consumers will spend in a specific industry.... At "Big Eropolis," an erotic fair that opens on Friday near Paris, billing itself as the biggest of its kind in the world, attendance was healthy but stall owners said customers were not spending as much as in previous years.

Second: Another favorite of RWN, Craigslist...

You can find anything on Craigslist - a casual encounter, a missed encounter, a date, a date that wants roses, a massage, a job and of course trade offers... People, especially in a down economy love to barter and trade for goods, after all cash is king!

A New York funeral director hoping to barter a free funeral for construction work on his patio was forced to scrap the idea due to the media frenzy that followed. Peter Dohanich, 51, posted an ad for the exchange on the online classified site Craigslist last week.

What a great idea. Personally (take note friends), I would like my funeral sponsored by several companies. Food should be comped as should beverages and the in-house funeral band... I want to look down from heaven and see the following: "Great food, huh Bob." - "Yes it is. Did you know that you don't have to wait for another funeral to get this great food?" - "Really" - "Yeah. You can eat great food, have a cold beer and keep a loving memory of Jason."

Good times people...

And coming in at number 3! Nigerian money - love scam... What do you mean these things are a scam?

They started as letters.... Then the advent of the fax machine... After the fax came email... Technology changed but the scam stayed true... Location: Nigeria. Scam: Love and money (the love of money too).

A Nigerian undergraduate has been sentenced to 19 years in prison for obtaining $47,000 (33,382 pounds) from an Australian woman by convincing her over the Internet that he was 57 years old, white, and madly in love with her.

And you people wonder why I make fun of Internet dating... Well know you know. Every guy or gal you chat with is probably a Nigerian undergraduate posing as an older white male - maybe that is why I was never successful at match.com..... Kept turning down older white men...

So the scam went: Lawal Adekunle Nurudeen met his victim on the Internet in 2007 and convinced her that he was a British widower called Benson Lawson. He said he was an engineer working in Lagos whose wife and only child had been killed in a car accident.

Happy St Patrick's Day party people...

Vegas Baby!

I am on my way to Vegas for the beginning of March Madness - so you will only get blogs today, Tuesday and Wednesday.... Then it is me, the Golden Nugget, the sports book, cold frosties and HOOPS BABY!

But, if I am going to head to Vegas, I better have some random knowledge about the city and the state so I can yuck it up with the dealers and bartenders... This blog is a keeper, you will go to Vegas soon and when you do you will want your six shooter of information loaded up with these gems....

1. Seafood and the buffet - always a good choice especially if you are choosing shrimp. Did you know, Shrimp consumption in Las Vegas is more than 60,000 pounds a day -- higher than the rest of the country combined! So you know it's fresh... If you do get bad shrimp, then you just have bad luck so leave Vegas at once loser!

2. Commitment is the foundation that Vegas is built on and not just the commitment to your new card counting system my friend, oh no - I am talking a commitment that can last a day or a life time (usually sometime in between though).... So when you are drunk with your new "friend" that you just cant live without know that about 150 couples get married in Las Vegas each day. Will you be one of the 150??? Will you? Yes you will... You are not a trend setter, you my friend are a follower... But be number 111 of the day - trips ones is lucky fo sho....

3. Law breaker... Little known fact about the reverse ATM in the sand - A 1910 law made it illegal to gamble in Las Vegas... Then a 1911 gangster changed that law with a gun and a smile.. Oddly enough, not a Coke and a smile - that kind of persuasion only works on kids...

4. Time machine meets conspiracy theory. It takes someone special to tie in a bit of history with a dash of conspiracy. I learned this rhetorical dance from my UFO friends at Area 51 - Many of the first hotels on The Strip opened in the 1950's such as The Desert Inn, The Sands, The Riviera, The Dunes, Hacienda, Tropicana, Royal Nevada, Moulin Rouge and The Stardust. In 1946, Bugsy Siegel opened The Flamingo Hotel. Some say his involvement with that project is why he was murdered in 1947 at his mansion in Beverly Hills, California.

5. Bad songs and tiger attacks, all part of the Vegas experience: In 1996, Wayne Newton celebrated his 25,000th performance while Siegfried and Roy celebrated their 15,000th performance... Oddly enough, they have not been able to count the number of pelvic thrusts he has done during each performance - many believe the number puts Wilt Chamberlain to shame... Per the white tiger guys, after becoming cat nip for a 2000lb kitty cat they stopped playing with animals that have bigger nails than them...

6. Camels,. not the bad air and lung cancer kind, were used as pack animals in Nevada as late as 1870. Bam! Watch your toes that is some heavy knowledge that I just dropped...

I am stopping at 7, it is a lucky number and luck be a lady in Vegas for me... No matter what you have heard in regards to the dangers of Vegas, let me tell you party people - Vegas is the safest place on earth.... The 7th and final fun Vegas fact, sex without a condom is considered illegal! Oddly enough this bit of knowledge was sponsored by Durex....

Have a great Monday... Get your bracket filled out and enjoy the madness - the MARCH madness...